The beach hunter, a blow out & some carnage.

Woke up fairly early on Monday with the sole intention of righting Friday’s wrong and making it to Shek O beach. Ned was going to head to Victoria Peak (I’ve not yet discovered how he got there but I’d put a good bet on it being by taxi) so we said our goodbyes. I really hope he made it to his Korean lass, sure he would’ve he’s made it this far.

Kerry said she’d join me in my search for Shek O and so we made plans. This was going to be a success. Here’s just how far wrong I’d gone before.

Here’s what I should have done.
Tram to Shu Kei Wan
Bus to Shek O.

Sorted! The mini bus wasn’t too bad on this occasion but I did notice that the drivers like to speed up to a corner before breaking, same with bus stops. It really is great, thanks!

Shek O beach was busier than I expected but still not that busy. We found a nice wee spot and sat down for the day. The sun wasn’t really getting through some of the clouds and it wasn’t as hot as it had been so I thought I’d be okay without sun cream. I should have worn sun cream. My legs clearly show that I’ve been in the sun, lying on my back and wearing shorts. We were going to jump around in the water, or go on a rock climbing adventure (where I could really show of my talents) but despite not doing anything at all I felt totally sapped of all energy and couldn’t even be bothered to read my book. Instead we just sat there enjoying the view and watching the locals struggle to catch any projectile thrown their way.

I’m sorry to add this but it does feel worthy of note, maybe skip if you’re eating. I was in need of a Marco Fu (hurrah for getting Cockney rhyme and slang in with the only famous person I know from Hong Kong \o/ ) so nipped to the beach toilet. I was impressed that they had a large amount of showers and other beach side facilities. I was not impressed to discover that they expected me to do my business by crouching on to a ramp on the floor and the pulling a chain to wash it away. I was even less impressed when I saw that in one of the cubicles somebody couldn’t be bothered to pull the chain. Sorry. I stood there thinking about it for a good bit and decided I’d have to take the plunge until I noticed there was no toilet paper. I was back on the beach in super speed trying not to think “what if”.

Not long after, the rain kicked in so we decided to head to the little beach side restaurant we’d spotted. So glad we did because it’s probably the coolest bar I’ve ever been in. We sat under a shade looking out over the beach and all the locals not minding the light rain. Kerry ordered steak and I ordered a beef kebab whilst marveling at the bar with it’s brilliant features including fish tanks containing 2 little sea turtles. Very cool!

The rain picked up so we moved around but not before I used their proper toilet! Well the toilet itself was proper but the bathroom was rather bizarre. Instead of a normal light they had a disco light. Different!

The food was beautiful, I’ve not had such tasty beef in a long time. Kerry was equally impressed by her steak. Whilst sitting at the bar I shouted like a kid spotting the sweetie aisle at macros when I noticed that the bar we’d been sitting at for half an hour was also a fish tank. I was loving this bar but my fondness towards it was on the line when Kerry gave me a decent challenge on the pool table. Fortunately I held my nerve and destroyed her.

It began to get dark, the rainy showers became more frequent and far stronger and the bar surprisingly emptied. We’d now moved on to the cocktail menu and were still enjoying club Paradiso but a worrying thought had set off in our heads. Were we the only ones here because we’ve missed the last bus?

The bar maid eased our concerns by saying it was around half 11 but she didn’t seem utterly convincing. Still we were having a great time so tried not to let it worry us.

When we did leave at around half ten the little village of Shek O seemed a very different place to the fun lively beach resort we’d arrived at many hours earlier. The square was a little creepy, the place was quiet & the taxi driver was freaking us out a bit as we hunted in vain for the non suspended bus stop. One of the locals pointed in the direction of a road which we gave a bash. We’d gone down it when it all got a little spooky and not like somewhere you’d plant a beachside bus stop. We went backwards and asked someone else who confirmed the bus stop was down butt rape boulevard. Hong Kong is a very safe place but this street did look somewhat, erm, stabby. We ventured just a little further than we had and spotted “Shek O bus terminus” Huzzah! Relief flowed through us & the taxi driver looked forlorn as he gave up and drove off into the night.

The spooks were not over though as we discovered when attempting to enter the terminus and being confronted by a gang. Yes a gang! They may not have been feeling very stabby but this gang of cats were still not messing with. There must have been 6 of them in view and the bus terminus was clearly their hood, not ours. We stayed away and watched the creepy woman going through the garbage.

A dog was approaching and as I saw him notice the feline gang and watched him raise his head in excitement I was backing off and awaiting the mighty “BOW WOW WOW”. It didn’t quite come, he chased one of the strays up a street and wasn’t to be seen again. The other cats barely moved, it was like they knew they could take him. These were evil cats.

Finally the bus came but the bloody driver wouldn’t let us on straight away and instead made us walk towards the door of the bus and wait until he’d finished his confidence invoking 5 minute snooze over the wheel. The front door of the bus also happened to be right at the entrance of the cats lair. Fortunately the cat gang didn’t start and we gratefully clambered on to the bus to head home.

Interesting points of the journey home would be Kerry taking the piss out of me calling the hostel home, her excitement at the building “Kerry & Co.” and the sheer amount of 24 hour McDonald’s that are on our street.

I paid up to stay here for my last four nights, Leo on reception said “I’m glad you’re staying, I’m going to miss you when I leave Chris, I really am”. There was nothing gay about it, I’m telling you. It also followed up my chat with the older reception guy who at first was quite quiet with me but he said as we left on Sunday night “Chris, you’re enjoying it here aren’t you, you’ve made lots of friends, you write something on our feedback yes?”. Slightly disappointing end to his touching comments but of course “I’d be more than happy to” was my response. Because I have, I’ve really enjoyed my time here. I feel like it’s coming to an end after a lot longer than 12 days, as I’ve said this place has become home.

I wasn’t in the mood for getting up early and instead decided to lie in until 5pm. I thought I had the dorm to myself but was gutted to find Kieron in the bunk above me still snoozing. He was there for most of my last week but spent the vast majority of his time either sleeping or trying to sleep. Strange character.

I was ready and looking forward to a chilled evening by myself and made for the Star Ferry to return to one of my favourite spots at the Kowloon promenade by the deck n beer. Although on this occasion I was sure I’d only be going to the Starbucks….

I took a random walk towards the Star Ferry at central and fooled around checking out the building works that were going on to build a vastly improved promenade on the Hong Kong Island side. Wouldn’t mind coming back to see that once it’s completed.

I was taking a lot in, well I thought I was but I didn’t take in the sign that said “Star Ferry” which was my target. I ended up going up to a viewing roof on one of the piers and looking out at the light show from there. Although I could only see a small part of the HK Island skyline it was still rather impressive. It’s just so vast and imposing. You don’t realise the sheer size and number of the buildings surrounding you when you’re in amongst them at ground level.

I took a walk further along the pier and admiring the boats and sniffing out a frappachino from “Uncle Russ Coffee”, cheers Russ. I then sat down on a bench with my book looking out over a pier towards the main island, I could almost make out the Deck N Beer.

A few hours later the cockroach that had been running back and forth in front of me finally won our battle of territory as I decided to head off home happy in my first beer free day.

1 hour later I was sitting in “The Globe” having a Beer Lao watching sky sports news and embarrassing myself in front of the barmaid, (whose name I knew I was never going to remember despite it being fairly simple) because I didn’t know a great deal about Nepal. Well, I knew nothing about Nepal. Felt a bit daft when she said “Everest”. “Oh” .

She turned out to be a good laugh and we got on okay, I was going to leave after the one but she coaxed me into a couple more and then got me chatting to a couple of English guys and a young New Yorker. I forget most of their names, I am writing this a week later!

New York guy was excitable, loud and didn’t really fit in with the laid back English guys. He was ranting in a New York accent and I had to keep correcting him with his England is Britain ways. He didn’t know what Edinburgh was.

Left the pub with these guys in the search of another bar and having agreed with bar lass that we’ll try and find each other at the horse racing tomorrow. She must have been in her thirties, was tiny and a bit mental as she danced around the bar to a star wars tune like a storm trooper. Good fun I think her name was Suva. I had enjoyed meeting new beer friends outwith the hostel. Gotta love The Globe, it was like being back home and down Niddrie Street at 3am!

So the 2 English lads (Matt & Lawrence I think) , the New Yorker and myself headed off to a piano bar. My head immediately thinks of “Fingers” but fortunately this place was more like a piano bar should be. There was a cool wee seating area outside despite it being a back alley, they’d manage to build a half moon sofa into the wall.

After a few drinks they decided to head off and had a debate as to whether or not they should go for Lawrie’s hot dog or Matt’s prostitute. They directed me towards the much talked of street Lan Kwai Fong.

I approached it with from the top of a stairway which allowed me to look out over Lan Kwai Fong in all it’s glorious drunkenness. The first and most obvious thing I was to spot was an Asian girl refusing to get into a taxi and 3 people doing their best to bundle her in. Great stuff, I couldn’t wait to get down there!

I didn’t stay long, not even for a drink. It was like the street that all the Brits go to wherever they are in the world except there were more nationalities there. It was a messy one for sure. I set off trying to find the mini bus again, after much wandering around I bumped into Lawrie and Matt once again, both eating hot dogs. Matt looked happy, I didn’t ask.

After a while I gave up on finding the mini bus and had to plump for a taxi, bugger. Once I was in the taxi I realised I was going to have to get more money from a bank. This led to a great deal of confusion but some 30 minutes later I was sitting in the hostel with a couple of beers and fiddling around on my lappy chatting to a couple of Irish lads.

The Irish lads in question were Andrew & Darren. They seemed like top blokes but I was busy on my wee lappy and they were distracting me and I knew I was being a bit rude. They’d manage to become stranded in Hong Kong as they were not allowed back into China, bummer! They retired to bed and I didn’t.

Not until 7am anyway. I felt awful and couldn’t sleep. People were getting up, the sun was beating in and the room was a sauna. Stuff this, not sleeping “Who wants to go to a random Island?” I asked, waking the rest of the dorm that I hadn’t woken up when clambering into bed.

Kerry was up for it and off we set. Having checked the net before leaving I realised the chances of us actually making it to Grass Island were remote, even more remote than the island with it’s 100 inhabitants. Still it’d be a bit of a fun. So off we set on our simple 7 step plan

1) Board the MTR Island Line
2) Switch to the purple Line
3) Switch to the green Line
4) Switch light blue line
5) Get off at the university
6) Head to the docks
7) Jump on the ferry

I was impressed we made it to the university. That’s where we became a bit lost though. The sun was proper beating down and I had to stick some sun cream on for the first time. It was early morning, I was not well, we were heading in the wrong direction and water was urgently required.

We made it to the docks a tight hour and 15 minutes after the ferry departed. Ooof close yin!

We hung around at the docks for a while as we’d come a long way and it did feel like a very different part of Hong Kong. I’d heard a lot about the markets in Mong Kok and was told that would be where I should go if I wanted a DSLR camera. Kerry’s book spoke of a cheap café there that should be checked out so we stopped off there on the way back for some lunch. On the way to the same street as café we saw some puppies in a pet store being held in a glass box. They were so cute, and then there was more & MORE! Heaps. I spotted a couple of pug puppies and I heart little pugs. They were so cute as they lay there play fighting. But then it became apparent that it wasn’t really play fighting and they were just left there to it. That must be what they do all the time. There was red spots of blood on each of them and it was so sad. When I went to the glass I got both of their attention and that stopped them fighting. They were both clearly exhausted but one of them would jump on the other and start it off again. Then I saw older dogs in small boxes too, it was all so sad. I had to run away as I really didn’t like it

The café was very similar to the others I’d been to which was a little disappointing. Kerry’s book said the pork was really impressive and it was right as the pork was lovely. The goose on the other hand was not. Boney, cold, fatty and a fair bit yuk. While I was far from a chopstick expert I had come on a long way in my time here. Kerry’s attempts made me feel like a hero, she was too proud to call for a fork though so instead didn’t manage to eat a great deal.

The markets were a good laugh, ram packed and were selling everything. I found a shop with runny babbits being kept in a size of cage similar to the puppies. They were cute though and seemed happy. The camera shop scared me as there were no prices because you’re supposed to barter. I have no idea how DSRLs work and I’m very much a haggling newbie compared to these seasoned pros so I ran away happy to be able to consider it a solid draw away from home.

We headed back towards Central pier with a view to possibly go to another island but I was more allowing Kerry to think I might go to another island when I actually just wanted to see Uncle Russ for a coffee. I’d been looking forward to going to Happy Valley but once we were back in the hostel I’d lost my appetite for it and was very much ready to lie in bed and feel sorry for myself for the rest of the night.

I forced myself to soldier on , Kieron was either sleeping or pretending to so I doubt he fancied the racing so Kerry and I set off jumping on the Shu Kei Wan to Happy Valley tram. I didn’t have the excitement I did the first time round, the place still had a good atmosphere but it didn’t feel the same. We tried sitting up at the top of the stand where you had a cracking view of the whole racetrack but it wasn’t doing it for me. I was still feeling unwell, I wasn’t winning and I didn’t even feel like I wanted a beer. After only 4 races I retired home exhausted, ill and not in the best of moods.

The Irish lads Andrew & Darren were drumming everyone up for a night out while I did a Kieron and pretended to sleep. I really couldn’t sleep and I was starting to feel sick whilst willing everyone to leave the dorm. That was my least pleasant day and night in Honkers and the first time I really started willing my Sydney flight to come around quicker.

It’s okay, it got better.

The next morning I slept, as well as the afternoon. I didn’t get out of bed until nearly 8pm. I was not all that surprised to see Kieron still there in his. I’d been hearing talks of a big night out and the Irish guys were trying to gee me up for it. It was the last night in the hostel for a few of us so it made sense. I still wasn’t in a party mood but started to go along with it, last night after all. I checked the fridge and my beers were still there. Smiley faced Toph. Having not eaten in a rather long time it didn’t take long for the drink to kick in and for my spirits to lift. The whole hostel was in party mode. At one point with an empty reception & a group of Asians wanting to check in Andrew got behind the counter and started to take their details. It was hysterical but becoming cruel "There seems to be a problem with your booking" he said whilst knocking back a beer and indicating to the out of office sign. "It's going to cost and extra $1000" he claimed. "yes yes" was the confused reply. "I'm just kidding with you, the guy will be back any minute" Andrew said in an apologetic thick Dublin accent before retreating to the room. Poor guys.

There were so many of us and quite a mix, 2 Irish, a French Canadian, a Columbian, a French, a Chinese, 2 English, a Welsh and another Scot as well as myself. Beware Hong Kong, we’re coming and we’re hitting Lan Kwai Fong!

First though there was drunken fun involving running as many carriages as possible up the MTR when the doors open. This was to prove tricky in a kilt.

The street seemed pretty busy but the bars were pretty quiet, a little surprising at midnight. The first place we went into happened to be called “The George”, I was uneasy, the staff were locals but all wearing England tops. I had to check. Yes, I am still wearing a kilt. It was fine nothing happened. Some dancing, a surprise at seeing the dodgy pictures in the toilets, bit more dancing then everyone out. Alcohol is so the biggest cost in Hong Kong, especially in a drinking area like this one. So to combat this problem we hit the 7/11 between bars and went to town on a few drinks. I took mine into the club but was confronted by a short yet hard looking bloke who wasn’t impressed. Handed it to him and looked sheepish, he walked away. Probably wasn’t even staff.

We were having fun, it was a good team. I can’t remember all that much. There was a French lass that was very keen on the kilt, I managed to move her off to E, the sort of token geeky Chinese guy who was a good laugh. Felt proud seeing this little guy snogging the Frenchie. I made that happen!

A couple of local girls who we highly doubted were 18 were taking the attention of some of the guys. I later discovered it was partly because girls are given free cocktails. I’d only had a few sips of my cocktail when a short woman grabbed it out my hand, pointed at me and shouted “NOT FOR YOU”. That was me told.

I’m not sure what time we were in the club until, I was to have one more run in with the short woman, that I’m glad to say was staff, when she was near me so I tried to have a laugh with and dance. The look she gave me was of fury, I’m glad I wasn’t going true Scotsman. The look was followed by a clenched fist. I don’t think she liked me very much.

On our escape back to the hostel there was some more taxi fun. 6 of us piled into the back of one, this isn’t allowed apparently. He became rather animated, but at least he knew the rules. He didn’t however know where we wanted to go, grr. Andrew was in a proper naughty boy mood but we were all drunken and it was a good laugh. Back to the hostel, couple more beers and then bed. Big day ahead of me. I was going to Sydney.